How Natal, Along with Compatibility Horoscopes, Save
You Time, Energy, Money and Heartache
As you know, there are many different kinds of relationships, be it parent-child, husband-wife, employer-employee, business owner-customer, sibling-sibling, teacher-student, etc. Some of these relationships are saviors in our lives while others are an albatross around our necks.
Give us two equally qualified bosses in the same job and we’ll naturally work better with one than we do the other even though both are nice people. What if we’re born into a large family where we feel like an orphan, misunderstood, or we feel like we are not loved, resentful of our siblings who experience the opposite with each other and our parents? Is it our entire fault; is there something wrong with us?
Why are we close with one of our siblings, while constantly arguing with another? Why do we (secretly) favor one of our children over the others, even wishing we had not given birth to one of them, living with the guilt?
What makes us love someone more than another regardless of what kind of relationship we are in?
Maybe we have problems relating, in general; for example, we lose our sense of individuality and career aspirations as soon as we consummate a love relationship, experiencing the same loss of our sense of “Self” with multiple relationships until we give up ever finding a life partner.
What makes a person incapable of fidelity no matter how hard s/he tries to be faithful to another?
Why do some people have a hard time getting along with people, choosing a life of solitude because it’s less painful that way even though they need to give and receive love too?
Synastry, the branch of Astrology that deals with relationship compatibility, seeks to answer these and other questions regarding the art of relating for it is an art, a skill to be acquired in youth and built upon over time. The NATAL (BIRTH) HOROSCOPE shows how well we relate to “the other,” in general, as well as our attributes we have going for us that we can offer in our quest for fulfilling relationships.
Believe me when I say EVERYBODY comes to the table with pluses and minuses; its learning what they are that makes us proactive rather than victims, accentuating the positive while keeping a tight lid on our own Pandora’s Box.
Did you know that people, in general, have a very hard time accepting their attributes, and yet the more they do, the more empowered they become in all areas including their social life?
Your NATAL HOROSCOPE, along with the environment you were raised in, represents what you’ve got to work with in any relationship; it’s the foundation you stand upon. If this foundation has cracks in it, you must build a new foundation or the old will undermine all of your relationships no matter how fortuitous.
Having said that, when you DO find someone you think might be Mr. or Mrs. Right, before you get to the emotional place of no return, it pays to have a COMPATIBILITY HOROSCOPE done because it’s the equivalent of marriage counseling, only you get it going into the relationship instead of coming out of it in divorce or separation. This is the equivalent of preventative holistic health medicine vs. allopathic modern medicine. You want to know what the odds are; that is, the strengths and weaknesses of the association; how good the rapport is and whether it can withstand the test of time, simply because you might find something better with someone else. Playing the field equals shopping around for the best fit; when you incorporate Astrology, you’re not going in blind.
As much as I know you don’t want to hear this, it wouldn’t be ethical of me if I didn’t warn you ahead of time about the dangers associated with having sex too early in the relationship. Sex is so powerful a force, it blinds you to the other’s true morals, set of values, personal and business ethics, religious ideology, how s/he’d raise children, character defects, all those things you’ll have to live with, or die trying. Sex, if it’s good enough, is as addictive as heroin; you’ll do anything to get more of it so why open up that door until you find out how much harmony there is between the two of you?
Remember, you’re only looking for one person; all the others who come before this one, are karmic relationships that will leave you crying if you get too close. Sexual harmony may be half the marriage but more often than not, it’s the other half that takes place outside of the bedroom you need to be worried about.
Synastry Astrology takes the guessing work out of the equation, as it weighs the pros and cons of any relationship, sexual or otherwise. If people put as much effort into shopping around for the best partner they could find, like they do when shopping for the best car, or the best home, or the best schools, our society wouldn’t have a high divorce rate.
India’s divorce rate is low because they arrange their children’s marriages in having COMPATABILITY HOROSCOPES done for a number of possible candidates; contrast this with America’s 50% divorce rate.
The best COMPATIBILITY HOROSCOPES will be replete with the following kinds of cross-aspects between the NATAL HOROSCOPES of both parties:
- ATTRACTION CROSS-ASPECTS
- ENDURANCE CROSS-ASPECTS
ATTRACTION
A couple of decades ago, I needed a job as a temp receptionist and was worried I wouldn’t find one. My astrologer told me this: “It’s all about rapport, Mary, between you and the one who’s hiring; as long as you have the minimum level of skills necessary for the job, these are secondary to rapport. You’ll be hired over others who have higher skill levels IF you have the best, the GREATEST rapport with this one. S/He will go out of his/her way to hire you above the rest if s/he likes you more than the others. And there’s nothing you can do about it because it’s the energy between both of you that decides the outcome. You cannot be somebody you are not. Rapport is THE quintessential deal maker or deal breaker in every kind of relationship you want to experience. So don’t feel bad if you don’t get the job. Go to other companies until you find someone you have great rapport with.” Boy did that sage advice she gave me save a lot of time and feeling bad about myself in the process!
Have you ever been introduced to a nice enough person but almost instantly disliked that one even though he or she had done nothing wrong? You couldn’t figure it out; in fact, you didn’t want to figure it out. You just didn’t care for that one, period, end of story.
Another scenario is one in which you meet someone who reminds you of someone else that you don’t like. Again, this one did nothing wrong and yet, as irrational as it seems, you are repelled by this one. It’s really a question of rapport or lack of it, isn’t it? These are what cross-aspects of attraction between two horoscopes denote: How well or not we literally feed each other’s energy fields, for when you break it all down, it’s really all about energy and how it moves in this universe. IT’S ALL ABOUT THE ENERGY.
Have you ever been around someone who left you feeling drained of energy? In contrast, have you ever been around someone who energizes you? Once you understand how your energy works, you can use it to better advantage; this is the beginning of enlightenment.
When I study cross-aspects in the natal charts of two people, the first tier of key things I want to see are ample harmonious aspects between Chart A’s Sun, Moon, Venus and Mars and Chart B’s Ascendant (synonymous with Rising Sign) AND vice-versa. Without enough of them, it is clear to me, that both individuals are settling for less than what they truly deserve and could find elsewhere when the time is right via Progressions (see Future Forecast).
So many think Astrology is about nothing more than your Sun sign but nothing could be farther from the truth and nowhere is this more the case than in Synastry Astrology. Sure, harmonious Sun signs signify good harmony of temperament which can be very beneficial to any relationship but it’s not a deal breaker if you don’t have it. Sun sign harmony is both an aspect of endurance AND attraction as it denotes mutual sympathy between the two people.
The Ascendant is the cusp of the first of twelve “houses” (areas of a person’s life) that represents YOU, the owner of the natal chart. It rules the SELF. All of the other houses relate to this most sensitive key “angle” in the chart just as all of the areas of your life are not you but are aspects of your life not unlike the spokes of a wheel. The other person’s “personal” planets must aspect it or there may not be enough attraction let alone rapport.
There are other types of attraction cross-aspects, such as Sun-Moon, Venus-Mars, Venus-Moon, Moon-Moon, Sun-Mars, Venus-Jupiter, Venus-Uranus, and others including the Descendant, another power point angle of a Natal Horoscope, directly opposite the Ascendant, that rules the marriage partner, and significant others such as our attorney or physician, clients, customers, people we meet, etc. Aside from early childhood training, the Descendant is an important area in that it shows strengths and/or weaknesses as far as getting along with others is concerned.
All said, the higher the number of aspects made to one’s Ascendant by the other’s personal planets and/or Ascendant, the stronger the attraction, including sexual attraction (though there should be at least one good aspect between one person’s Mars and the other person’s Venus for sexual harmony).
One could say the Ascendant of a horoscope is the window through which you look out and the window through which others see you. In addition, the Ascendant is your persona or mask you wear, the envelope, not unlike your skin that protects your tender flesh inside. When you get all dressed up for an important date, this is “your best foot forward,” for it is what someone immediately experiences upon getting close enough to shake your hand. It is the initial encounter and the first impression that lasts, I don’t care what they say! This is what people are judging when they meet you. If their planets or Ascendant make bad aspects to your Ascendant, you’ll sense it; however, don’t take it personally even if you want to for it’s just a bad energy blend, nothing more.
Another anecdote worth mentioning here tells the story of a question I posed to the mother of a former runner-up contestant in a Miss Universe contest, both of whom, along with myself, were “high fashion” models at this department store, in the late 1960s. I really wanted this rabbit fur hat but it was expensive and I was stressing over whether I should buy it. The advice she gave me I have used ever since:
“Never buy anything unless it makes you feel like a million dollars.” What if we were to apply the same advice to our love life?
ARE YOU READY TO TAKE THE PLEDGE? THEN REPEAT AFTER ME:
“I WILL”
“NEVER TIE THE KNOT WITH ANYONE WHO DOESN’T MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A MILLION BUCKS A YEAR FROM THE DAY WE MET.”
“NEVER HAVE SEX WITH ANYONE UNTIL THE DOPAMINE’S WORN OFF AND I SEE THE REAL DEAL BEHIND THE MASK, WARTS AND ALL.”
“NEVER JUMP INTO MARRIAGE UNTIL AFTER I’VE DISCOVERED THEIR TRUE MORALS AND SET OF VALUES I’LL HAVE TO LIVE WITH FOR A LONG, LONG TIME.”
“KNOW THAT LOVE IS A TWO –WAY STREET AND SO IS ATTRACTION. I UNDERSTAND WE BOTH HAVE NEEDS THAT MUST BE MET.”
“SO HELP ME GOD!”
The more harmonious cross aspects someone’s Sun, Moon, Venus and Mars makes to your Rising Sign, and vice-versa, the higher degree of attraction there is, the higher the degree you feed each other energy fields, the more satisfied you are, the better you feel around the other, all of which is reinforced continually. Keep in mind, not all “food” exists solely on the physical plane.
ENDURANCE
Have you ever seen the film, "The English Patient"? If so, remember all the trials and tribulations the lovers went through to stay together? And how he left her in the cave, near death, going through a living hell to get help for her, only to return too late?
What tied the knot that tight, binding them through heaven and hell on Earth, the latter of which required of her, unbearable pain and suffering to stay alive for many days in that cave, when she could have traded pain for sweet sleep of merciful death, letting go? Why did she hold on and why did he in his suffering that followed?
I use this extreme example so that you may distinguish between a cross-aspect of attraction as previously discussed, and one of endurance, the latter of which seems to have more to do with soul evolution than rapport.
Most of the time, life isn’t a bowl of cherries; sometimes, it can be the pits, with happy days manifesting in between. Granted, the rapport between you increases feelings of love and devotion as time goes by. A “Soulmate” relationship is a deep, esoteric, spiritual “soul contract” between two people (whether or not sex is involved) that when faced with one of life’s sudden storms, anchor’s the relation—ship, keeping it steady, staying upright, and moving in the right direction of soul growth. This is what makes the “marriage made in heaven” a sacred institution, the most natural path to maturity, and what distinguishes it from a “love affair.”
Endurance cross-aspects vary from light to heavy, enjoyable to not so enjoyable; for the sake of clarity, I’ve chosen the most challenging of all: Saturn cross-aspects.
Saturn rules reality, among other things, and since denial is considered by some such as myself to be the greatest of all sins, it can be a real pain in the neck until you make a friend of reality. Saturn asks us to get real about the house (area of our life) it is found in as well as the houses-areas that planets aspecting Saturn are in, in addition to the certain kinds of energies we possess, that these planets represent.
The same can be said for compatibility horoscope cross-aspects another person’s Saturn makes to our planets (energies). Let’s face it; we have to put up with anothers Saturn somewhere!
As they do with our Saturnian energy which can be demanding, delaying, requiring patience on their part. On the negative side, it can be the “can of worms” we adopt when we get involved in a serious relationship with someone, be it friend, lover, boss, co-worker, mate or offspring.
On the positive side, Saturn falling in your partner’s second house of money can put the brakes on his spending sprees, which can be a good thing. In your fifth house, he may curb your gambling or taking other kinds of risks detrimental to your health.
However, there are areas where you do not want Saturn influence, namely the first, fourth, seventh or tenth houses; these would be deal breakers for me as his Saturn would, in the first house, drain me of life force; fourth house: restrict my home life; seventh; be too old in age or the marriage would be fraught with sorrow; tenth house: put restrictions on my career and therefore livelihood.
Other endurance cross aspects are not hard and can even be enjoyable such as harmonious Sun signs.
In conclusion, as cohesive a force as attraction aspects are, they are not enough to keep you together “in sickness and in health, until death do us part.” Think of your marriage as a home-made raft; boards tied tightly enough together so that you don’t sink. You have to have enough of both to make a “marriage made in heaven.”
LIFE CYCLE
Just as our temporal bodies have a life cycle, so too do our relationships have a beginning, middle and end. Even the one with your body will end someday. Nothing lasts forever. Some last longer than others depending on their ultimate or spiritual purpose; in fact, with each good-bye, we’ll learn more about who we are in relationships of all kinds than if we were to live a life of solitude. The most painful good-bye I have ever experienced had the ultimate effect of teaching more about who I am than any other life experience I’ve had; thank God my suffering was not in vain. Quite the contrary in that it led me to becoming an even more effective healer and medium albeit a wounded one, first channeling my Soul or Higher Self, and after that, finding my Spirit Guides, empowering me to help myself and others even more. The point here is that no love you give is in vain, so don’t close your heart to love for that would be the biggest mistake you could ever make. Just love smartly.
BEST CASE SCENARIO
Socrates said: “The unexamined life is not worth living.” Funny, but the more I know myself, the more I have in common with others as if we are all ONE, on some esoteric level.
When it comes to the art of relating, start with the relationship you have with your Soul or Higher Self, because it’s the only part of “YOU” that’s capable of unconditional love and you want a mate that loves you unconditionally, don’t you? What if you weren’t raised in a family by parents who loved you unconditionally and so you don’t know what that is. You’ve got to start somewhere, right? So start with your SELF, your true and real self.
I came from such a dysfunctional and controlling religious fanatical household, I didn’t know what good love was. You can read more about this on my website. I began studying my NATAL HOROSCOPE in the early 1970s as I kept meeting men who were emotionally unavailable for me.
Among other things, I needed to know if I:
- Could get along with others;
- Could enjoy a monogamous relationship;
- Needed to work on my character
- Needed healing from an abusive childhood;
- Needed none of the above.
Next, invest in PRE-marriage counseling BEFORE you get married, AS SOON AS you begin to think you’re starting to get serious about someone; don’t wait until it’s too late, and the damage is done and you can’t take back what you said. Be proactive. Get a COMPATABILITY HOROSCOPE done so that you know the strengths and weaknesses of the energy blend that is your relationship; after all, KNOWLEDGE IS POWER.
Remember, it has been scientifically proven that love is blind until the dopamine wears off. Don't be one of those “fools who rush in where angels fear to tread.”
As for you Moms and Dads out there: Know when your children take their first breath so as to get an accurate birth time, please. Raise them by their “COSMIC BLUEPRINTS” so you don’t make the mistake so many do in creating a clone of yourself. Why not celebrate these SOULS in all THEIR glory who have incarnated through, (not of) you. Get their NATAL HOROSCOPE interpreted either through a personalized reading with me or via the CHILD OF LIGHT SPECIAL REPORT, and make a copy for them to study.
Next, have a COMPATIBILITY HOROSCOPE interpreted by me or get the RELATIONSHIP HOROSCOPE SPECIAL REPORT, and give a copy to them when their mature enough to appreciate it. Build on the harmonious cross aspects between you as they take the pressure off the inharmonious cross-aspects that cause so much grief between parents and their children. Since you can’t quit such relationships, it pays on all four levels to find common ground and accentuate that in order to raise healthy children with good self-esteem.
Doing both can be invaluable for you and your loved ones; compared to the cost of therapy, this is an extremely cost-effective way of getting the most out of life and all of your significant other relationships. Choose Self-Empowerment over Victimhood.
Since “a journey of 1000 miles begins with the first step” (Confucious) take a moment and make your intention to attract only those relationships that will bring out the best in you, people who are VERY receptive to the love you need to give, and who will love you back, in equal measure.
That is my wish for all of God’s children. And so it is!
--Mary Kinlen
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